Friday, August 10, 2007

Never give up, Never surrender

Well, it is officially been 9 days since my IVIG ended, and in theory, I should have been able to notice a difference in my vision. Sometimes I will sit and stare at an object across the room and wonder, "Ok, if I stare at it hard enough, and if I want it badly enough, maybe there will only be ONE object instead of two." So I stare and stare and hope and hope and think lovely, happy thoughts.

So far, the only thing it has done has given me a headache.

I still cannot see straight and I am exhausted and frustrated. I called my doctor yesterday. The nurse was supposed to have someone call me back. That never happened, so I just called 5 minutes ago and told them I needed the soonest appt they had, which was Tuesdsay, 9:30am.
Then I made an appointment with an Neuro-Opthamologist for Friday morning. I figured someone that specializes in brains AND eyes may have some other ideas to try.

I am scared that my vision may never come back, in which case I know I will eventually adjust, but it is still scary. Chris and I wanted to watch a Daily Show before bed last night and I tried everything: both eyes open was a joke- there were two Jon Stewarts, patched the right eye and Lefty laughed at me with its blurriness, I patched the left eye and Righty said, "Um, no thanks. I'm pretty tired, too." So I laid down on the couch and just listened to it instead.

I think this is part where some people throw up their hands and go, "Alright. You win. I'm done with the needles and the doctors and insurance companies. This is my life now. I have MS and I can't see. I'm going to be a hermit and live my life by the daytime TV schedule."

Obviously, MS doesn't know who it is dealing with here.
If it did, it would know that I ain't givin up without a serious fight.

So be warned MonSter...I'm comin for you and I don't take prisoners.
I am ready for some ass-kickin and your name's at the top of my list.
I am getting my vision back. Dammit.

As Winston Churchill once said,"Never never never give up."

No comments: