Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Name is Mud

While the term "brain fog" is recognized as a synonym for "cognitive dysfunction" by Wikipedia, I have decided that I much prefer " brain mud".

Fog is light and airy, it whooshes in quietly and of course puts a nice cloud cover over everything so you can't see what is five feet in front of you. You grasp for thoughts and pluck them out of the fog, you walk through its cold dampness feeling pretty out of sorts and perhaps a tad lonely.

Brain that's a horse of a different color!
Mud is messy and dirty and sloshes around and gets all over your boots and your jeans and even splatters up on your face if you are trying to walk too forecefully through it. Before you can pluck a thought out of mud you have to dig your hands down into the squishy, gooey muddy mess. It is disruptive and infuriating and did I mention, messy??

I am definitely in the midst of a big ole brain mud puddle!

Though I am glad I chose to do 3 days of IV Solu-Medrol (it has helped a lot with my burning leg pain) the vertigo is still hanging on and the brain mud is making me crazy! It doens't help mattters that I have 2 big papers due and a final exam all in the next 10 days before the semester ends. Having a registered "disability" means I can take incompletes if I have to, but that really is a last resort. I don't want incompletes hanging over my head and stressing me out further!

I have been trying to write one of my papers today while I am home resting and I find myself with the complete inability to get thoughts out of my head onto paper and extreme difficulty concentrating. It frustrates me to no end! I know its only temporary and with each day the inflammation in my brain will lessen and I will start to feel better and think clearly again
Just ike coming out of a fog...
Or rolling out of the mud...and hopefully into a "hot and steamy, absolutely dreamy, finally out of trouble, bubble bath" :-)

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